My short story thingy

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My short story thingy

Post by Bells on Fri Nov 18, 2011 12:19 am

The voices had long since become a soft buzz in the background. Words no longer understood, but reaching my ears non-the-less. Motionless I lay, watching the tarnished white ceiling above me with half closed eyelids, letting my mind wander as it may.

‘Give me a moment’ I might have said, and I must have as the voices paused in anticipation. ‘Give me a moment and I’ll be fine.’

The hum grew again, louder even and I knew that they are thinking the same thing as I. Just a moment, always a moment longer, I didn’t have a moment left. In a moment I’ll be gone.

Its amazing really, the clarity that has come to me at this time, so close to death as I am. Thoughts come easier, seemingly making more sense than they ever have before in my experienced life. Not that I have much to compare to, having seventeen years to my name. Although, I find that perhaps in my seventeen years I have found a state of peace, of utter acceptance of what’s to come, that most spend their lives searching for.

The voices chime again, sadness leaking form their tones and into my heart. That peace, that I hold so dear, clutched tightly to my soul as if never to let go, could be shattered in an instant. They only have to say two words, and I would find the idea of death now so unbearable that I would break. But, I, just as they do, know these worlds will never come to be. I can imagine it though, and the pain that would come with them.

‘He’s alive.’ That’s what they would say. He’s alive and not dead as I know he must be. I was supposed to die first you know, the disease that has been eating away at my life for so long was supposed to take me from him. And yet, here I lie, knowing not only my death has come, but his as well.

Maybe it is true, what people would tell us, that our hearts are one. We can’t exist in this world without the other, so as I leave, so does he. This peace I have though, I found long ago. No sorrow rests in my own heart this departure. It was torn away on a single night, beside the river and beneath the star lit sky.

He and I sat, silence consuming us as those words were finally let go, I’d been holding onto them for so long, and couldn’t stand another moment. ‘Cancer, terminal.’ But he soon followed these words so closely with a few of his own, and they are where I find my peace.

‘I will stay with you, I love you.’

They chased away all my fears, leaving only behind warmth and a simpler version of the peace I hold now. Those words set in motion the rest of my days, darkness and light trading out, but always leaving peace behind them. The words.. Also led us here. These white hall could almost be compared to that of the church. The alter would be empty now, all the lace and candles still out, waiting for a moment that would now never be. The choir has probably long gone by now, most likely has heard of our fate. Perhaps one of them is here now, part of the buzzing voices around me.

I wish they could just let me be, give me silence to focus on the ringing in my ears. I could almost hear him, his voice, his laugh. It consumed me, the sound of his joy and love. Almost over running the memory that was now flashing through my mind. Of a too bright light, screaming of tires and the coppery smell of blood. Then that of flames, the feel of pain and the cry of panicked voices.

Those memories disappeared before long, the haze over coming my thoughts crowding them out. I knew it was him I was hearing now. His voice was calling me home, urging me to let go and come to him.

Then I saw it, a figure beside my bed, holding out his hand as he gave met the smile that first drew me to him. His voice whispers encouragement as a light feeling rushes though me. This was it. I could be with him, forever. My peace wavered for a moment, then settled down firmly as I formed what may have been a smile on my lips.

See, I have seen the best this world has to offer. Love in its purest form. Sacrifice for and from those who hold it. Felt its warmth and heard its soft voice. So no longer can I fear death. I can only embrace it. For, the life beyond what I have is all I can wish for. The mountain-top rests beneath my feet, the height of the world.

Death is not an end to my meaning, its only an extension to the peace that has served me well.

Peace with life. Peace with what I have. And now, peace with death as I lay my hand in his, and let the darkness consume me.

_________________
"Come at me
And you'll see
I'm more than meets the eye.
You think that
You'll break me,
You're gonna find in time
You're standing too close to a flame that's burning
Hotter than the sun in the middle of July.
Sending out your army, but you still can't win;
Listen up, silly boy, 'cuz I'm gonna tell you why..."
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Bells

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Re: My short story thingy

Post by Banshee on Sat Nov 19, 2011 4:50 pm

Awwweee that's sad!!!! Crying or Very sad It makes me want to know more, you're first few lines really hooked me. You could turn this into a book....definatly.
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