Opinions needed- Unnamed book

Okay, so this is the beginning of my book, which as it stands, is untitled. BTW, the convo in the middle won't be developed later for anything, it's kinda an inside joke from what chat the character Marley comes from. Yes, I actually am basing a book off of a chat character. Shuddup.
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This isn’t the beginning of MY story, you know. It’s not even the end. It’s somewhere in the middle, some obscure part that at first glance shouldn’t even be trifled with. But you’ll understand why this is the beginning of THIS story soon enough.

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Chapter One: A Walk Through Hell
It was a dark night- hardly any moon to speak of, and the cloud cover let precious little light from the heavens grace that part of town. However, that little was all I needed, and thief and light were always on uneasy terms, anyway. I moved like a slow specter, ascending the side of the mansion and weaseling my way in via an unprotected window. I thanked my lucky stars for my height, a measly 4’5” which allowed me easy passage inside. Blinking in the impossibly increased darkness of the indoors, I tried to get a feel for my surroundings. There appeared to be a bed in the corner- or was it a couch? A nightstand stood dutifully by its side, and a closet was off in the far corner. A bedroom then, it seemed. Would there be anything of much value in… wait… something moved on the bed/couch, a large, sleeping form that seemed to be muttering something drunkenly. My pulse quickened, and I was so started that I ran like a shot from the room, and into the long hallway beyond. Nice going, Marley, I thought to myself irritatedly. Well, at least there seemed to be no one else on this floor but me and my sleeping acquaintance. The hallway stretched for quite a distance in both directions, doors, probably containing more bedrooms, lining its walls. When I listened closely I could hear the faint sounds of a party emanating from the lowest floor of the house. That would explain the drunk person in the bedroom, I guessed. No reason to give up yet, then, maybe I could still find something to sell. My stomach growled demandingly, and I shot it an irritated glare
“Oh, shut up, you” I whispered as if it were a living being of its own.
“But I haven’t even said anything yet” I heard an amused voice say several feet behind me, and I quickly turned around. There was a blonde boy, an older teenager from the party, I guessed.
“Well I could tell you were going to say something irritating” I fired back, crossing my arms. He just laughed slightly
“Who are you?”
“The maid’s daughter” I lied easily. Despite the fact I was a pretty good liar, he looked unconvinced
“What are you doing then?”
“I was running an errand for my mom” Well if that wasn’t a self inflicted blow to the gut… I had never actually known my mother “To get some milk at the store”
“Why would she send you on your own? You don’t look like you could be any older than 14”
“She’s busy cleaning, duh”
“You’re not even heading in the direction of the exit”
“I… forgot something back at my bedroom, I’m such an idiot” I laughed slightly, though it sounded a bit too forced, I was getting nervous. He just nodded, still not looking like he bought into my story, but he also looked like he didn’t care to press the issue any farther. “But I better get going, bye!” I took off again, running just around the corner and then stopping. I could hear his footsteps heading the other way, and once the coast was clear, I went back to the bedroom I had entered through. That was too close of a call to try anything else, I could /not/ risk going to jail. Still, with a little looking around in the dark, I did manage to find a nice pair of shoes and a watch, so the day wasn’t a total waste. I slipped both items into my bag and began my decent down the side of the house again. Then I took off into the night again, the forest quickly enveloping me.

Hmm...I like it. You had some great bits of description and metaphors in there. But to me it seemed a little bit rushed...then again, that might just be my flowery taste kicking in, so I would get a second opinion on that one, hehe. The paragraphs in the first part before the dialogue could be split up a little bit, and indented (though I'm aware that this wierd site doesn't allow an indent for some reason). Other than that, good!

Dude... I've deleted the opening to my book three times since doing this... .-.