Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

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Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Invisimort on Sun Aug 25, 2013 2:36 pm

This is exactly what it says on the tin. We are going to be doing a Nightvale Chat.

HOW WILL THIS WORK!? You may ask, seeing as Nightvale is a radio show, and that we only ever gain information from Cecil? Will we become the collective hivemind of Cecil?

NO! As per usual, everyone’s going to pick favourite characters from their favourite podcast, or, if the mood strikes you, will be going on ahead and making their own character. Nothing new here. However! Each day there will be a Cecil broadcast to inform you of what you ought to be hiding from today, who died yesterday, and whether or not it has been decided that children may take assault rifles to school on a daily basis. This should obviously impact your daily routine, non routine, or decision to ritualistically sacrifice goats in your bathtub.
If you make the choice to sacrifice goats in your bathtub in the dead of night, you are totally within your rights to do so, and such things can take place immediately after the broadcasts. We will be doing our best to allow for a full 24 hours to elapse between each show.

WHAT DOES NIGHTVALE EVEN LOOK LIKE?! WHERE AM I IN THIS DEEP AND ENIGMATIC UNIVERSE? WHO AM I? IF I PUT EGGS IN A BLENDER AND TURN IT ON, WILL THEY BE SCRAMBLED OR BLENDED?

Reader, I am glad you asked. For your convenience, links to listener generated content that present a feasible geographical layout of Nightvale will be provided below.

http://cryingmanlytears.tumblr.com/post/56076745790/okay-so-i-could-not-find-any-sort-of-map-or

As to who you are and who you will become, well... only you can answer that question. However, pending psychological breaks from reality and despair inducing mental torment, we are happy to provide another helpful link that should assist in your introspection.

http://nightvale.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Characters

If you have introspected deeply upon the link, and who you are is still unclear, feel free to make up a new identity all together.

I WANT TO EXCERSIZE MY GOD GIVEN RIGHT TO NARRATE AND BRING HORRIBLE MONSTROSITIES DOWN UPON THE TOWN! I LIVE HERE I WANT A VOICE TOO!

Calm down. We will occasionally be running polls to determine whether it would be a better idea to have someone spontaneously sprout six heads or if the drawbridge will ever get finished or whatever. It is completely within your powers, reader, to bring a swarm of flying, writhing, melting banana splits upon this town.

Nightvale and its ideas are the property of Commonplace Books, and this chat was constructed in collaboration with gh, who has assisted with information retrieval, foundation of logistical performance, and much much howling. We should all thank her for the howling, really. We don’t know what would have ever come of this experiment without it.

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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Invisimort on Sun Aug 25, 2013 2:41 pm

A friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful, and mysterious lights pass overhead while we all pretend to sleep. Welcome to  Nightvale.

Listeners, as a result of the strange purple moon seen in our skies several nights ago, many of you have reported being able to sprout clones by budding. This has led to mass confusion, several bank hold ups, and thirty three fatalities of Steve Carlsberg, though it serves him right for making more than thirty three of himself anyway. The City Council has responded to the new clones by hissing and moaning distrustingly and then outlawing reproduction by budding outright, and urges any who have acquired this skill to bring themselves and their clones to the mine shaft, for validity determination testing and subsequent re-education of the real you.

Progress on the drawbridge is proceeding well, as the fine architects that have been working so tirelessly on it have finally recieved schematics. Unfortunately the schematics only came in Ancient Sanskrit or Lojban, and the town’s leading expert on Sanskrit has been out since Tuesday with inexplicable tentacle manifestations. Any Lojban speakers would be welcome to assist with the translation of the schematics and any assistance in the translation would result in a one year drop in tolls from $276 dollars to $200 dollars.

And now, Traffic.
For some reason the outermost loop towards Coyote Corner has been blocked by a man attempting to haul sixty five golf carts. Several of them have become detached from the rear of his tow truck and have been cluttering the road for several miles now. Caution to all drivers, if you are going to be driving, and see a golf cart reversing towards you, abandon your car and children and diveroll to safety. Golf carts have been reported to detonate upon impact, and in addition to destroying our ozone layer will cost several millions in road repairs, since there appear to be ancient tunnels beneath that particular road, leading somewhere, and coming from somewhere else.

I have just received a note from the City Council regarding clones. It reads: Any clones who do not wish to be thrown to the incinerators may report to the public library. Anyone who has concerns that their clone is impersonating them so well that they will be thrown to the incinerators as well should also go to the public library. All others should continue reporting to the mine shaft.

And now, the Weather:

Listeners, that is all I have for you today, as I have just discovered that two of me were apparently produced by budding while I was speaking. They do not appear to be malicious, but like everybody else I will be taking government mandated precautions to control my clone production or be punished severely by law.

Good night, listeners, Goodnight.

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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Banshee on Sun Aug 25, 2013 2:45 pm

Characters that are taken:

Cecil - Invisimort
Carlos - GH
Old Woman Josie - Regret
Station Management - Regret
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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Banshee on Mon Aug 26, 2013 10:18 pm

Carlos

I had called Cecil earlier about the clones, he had said he already knew...after all there had been two copies of him in the living room. The clones weren't the same as the doppelgängers. Cecil had convied to me only some of the horrors he had seen on the other side of the vortex. Horrors I can't even fathom...I can't even understand most of what I've seen in Nightvale let alone the horrors of the vortex.

I park the car a bit further from the abandoned mineshaft, Cecil said he would be coming soon with his clones. Maybe I could get a DNA sample...perhaps there was more than just Cecil's DNA.... Traces of radiation maybe..?

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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Invisimort on Mon Aug 26, 2013 10:45 pm

Cecil:

It was unusually difficult to convince all of the me's to get in the car with me at the end of my work day. While they seemed to posess some sort of sentience, it was obvious that they were lacking in some places and generally unaware of all of the things that could so easily go wrong in the station. It was a bit like having five year olds of yourself, I suppose.

When I arrived at the mineshaft, along with several other groups of people and their clones, I noticed that CARLOS was there. Carlos, beautiful Carlos, whose hair was slowly growing back every day, whose dark beautiful skin was only made more beautiful by the unforgiving desert sun throbbing down upon his gorgeous face. Carlos was there. The clones in the back seat of my car swooned. "Shut up you guys, you don't get to stay." I muttered as I got out of the car, leaving the doors unlocked and the keys in the ignition, just as the sheriff's secret police had told us all to several days ago.

Both clones of me also got out of the car, and it was in that moment that I had no idea what to do. Part of me wanted to walk over to Carlos, Carlos' beautiful if disappointingly short hair, and all of the beautiful science that he surely had sitting in his car and attempt to strike up conversation. And another part of me felt the eyes of the men in the helicopters on my back and wanted nothing more but to report to the mineshaft as requested prior to talking to Carlos, since it kind of was important to get rid of the clones as soon as possible.

Instead of doing any of those things however, I just stood there, wriggled my fingers at him in the stupidest wave I think has ever existed in any dimension, even the ones where people are made of six dimensional hydrospheres, and giggled. I don't know why I giggled, and I was mentally kicking myself for doing so but I did and it happened. First it was 'NEAT!' and now it's giggling. I was such an idiot.

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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Banshee on Tue Aug 27, 2013 3:05 am

Carlos

I blushed as I saw Cecil wave, it was adorable when he did that...but I didn't know how I felt when the rest of him followed. I got out of the car, retrieving a few things as I did so and made my way over to him grinning a bit. "So uh, Cecil, I brought over the stuff that uh I said I would....do you mind if I take some uh blood samples of you and your clones. I was wondering if they might have different traces of-" I started to say, rattling on and on before I caught myself and turning crimson as I did. "...you know, just science stuff...." I add, mentally kicking myself for the rattling and the most idiotic comeback my brain could think of. He probably didnt want to hear all that...
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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Invisimort on Tue Aug 27, 2013 9:55 am

Cecil:

I watched in complete adoration as he started discussing plasma, DNA, thermonuclear destruction brought on by the singularity, the song of the universe, and several other sciencey things. Carlos was so smart. I could listen to Carlos talk all day. About anything. I stood there and stared blankly for several minutes before I could think up a response that did not involve the word neat.

"...Of... Of course! Anything! I mean, uh, anything that has been approved by both our city council and the world government, but you know, barring heinous illegality or uh, catastrophic world altering consequences, uhm, Anything!"  I said. It occurred to me that I didn't exactly know what was involved in blood sampling. I was hoping that it was less invasive than the annual census procedure that everyone has to have done every three years to confirm that you are who you say you are and that you do not have disturbing alien microbe babies hiding in your skin. Because that was unpleasant. So... I just... didn't say anything about blood samples or any passing reference to alien microbe babies. At all. I simply stood there, vibrating slightly, and staring so as to memorize every aspect of Carlos' lovely face.

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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Banshee on Tue Aug 27, 2013 12:03 pm

Carlos

"...You aren't afraid of needles are you? I mean it would be a small one..." I say, getting out the appropriate tools and such. "And it shouldn't hurt, just a pinch that's all..." I mean he had already given me the okay, I just wanted to make sure. It seemed that residents of Nightvale didn't quite grasp somethings of the outside world...some of them didn't quite even grasp the simple concept of the phases of the moon. Then again, I couldn't grasp things that I had heard about and seen.
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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Invisimort on Tue Aug 27, 2013 12:43 pm

Cecil:

By the looks of the things he was pulling out of his car, there would not be any two inch lacerations anywhere and probably no risk of pustules developing. This was all quite agreeable, as perhaps I wouldn't have to moan for six hours at my bloodstones to keep from obtaining some kind of... icky... skin disorder.

"Needles aren't on the list of federally approved things to fear, so technically I'm not actually allowed to fear them so I think it should be fine, like... uh, just to be sure though, the risk for skin based pustule development post op is minimal, right?" I asked uncertainly, all of the words tumbling out of my mouth before I could think about them too hard. Of course I'd still help Carlos with science if it gave me a strange rash, I mean, He's CARLOS.

The clones behind me were trying to figure out how the trunk of my car worked. This would have been fine had I not had something in the trunk of my car that had to be kept there for the safety of everyone within a fifty yard radius, but I didn't want to just interrupt the glourious science for the sake of the clones. They didn't look like they were getting very far anyway, though I had a moment of passing concern for where the rear bumper on my car had wandered off to. I returned my eyes to Carlos and smiled, putting the possible end of my car out of my head. I was sure that Station Management would... probably... maybe... allow me to borrow another one. If I asked. Or... begged. Or submitted an invoice in my own blood in unmodified sumerian. Everything would be ok. Probably.

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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Banshee on Tue Aug 27, 2013 1:09 pm

Carlos

I carefully take his arm, before drawing a sample from him. "Alright, that should do it...now for the clones..." I said after storing his away, part of me wondering if I should ask permission....but they were too busy pulling apart Cecil's bumper. I make my way over, grabbing each clone's arm one at a time, drawing a sample from each to compare, then apologizing hastily.

Clone or not...they were still people.....I think......
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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Invisimort on Tue Aug 27, 2013 1:24 pm

Cecil:

CARLOS HELD MY HAND HE HELD MY HAND OK I MEAN TECHNICALLY IT WAS MY ARM AND TECHNICALLY IT WAS A SCIENTIFIC MEDICAL PROCEDURE BUT STILL LIKE I JUST HE HELD MY HAND!!!!!

I vaguely wondered where the tattoos attached to that part of my arm had gone to, as they weren't there when he rolled up my sleeve-- CARLOS ROLLED UP MY SLEEVE I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT--- but I figured they'd be back later, they always came back.

Once Carlos had disappeared from my field of vision, I realised that several other people were standing in line with several more of themselves, going to return the clones to the government. As had been mandated. ...That was why I was in the outskirts of town. Not to let CARLOS HOLD MY HAND but uh, to comply to the City Council's demands to bring all the clones to the mineshaft. Right. I hoped that nobody was reading my mind at the moment or else I might receive a citation for that accidental oversight. Oops. "Carlos," I started and then stood there watching him, wondering if I just said his name fifteen more times if that would be alright or if it would be one of those things that makes you put up blood sigils in front of your house so unwanted visitors don't show up. "Carlos, I am going to take the clones away now, if that's alright with you, I think the government is reading my mind and I'm trying to keep from getting a citation about my clones." I explained, pulling my sleeve back down.

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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Banshee on Tue Aug 27, 2013 1:28 pm

Carlos

That was weird...hadn't he had tattoos....I had seen them before...yet none of the clones had tattoos where they should when I did the same with all of them. I, I don't even know anymore...this clone problem had given me about....three hours of sleep? Maybe four....could be the coffee talking for four hours though...how many cups had I ha-

Oh Cecil was talking. "Hm? Oh yeah, you can uh...take the clones...do you want me to wait here....? Maybe call you a tow truck....and drive you back to your place?"
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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Invisimort on Tue Aug 27, 2013 2:08 pm

Cecil:

He was so fantastically considerate. Calling a toe truck for me?! Of course, I didn't need any extra toes at the moment, I was pretty sure I had all of them, but still, the thought was what counted, right? "Oh Carlos, I have all of my toes..." I stated until I realised that he meant like... To take my car to the fuel 'n go and get the bumper reattached. I turned bright pink at that. I squeaked. "I mean, uh, if you'd like to... I'll go deal with the government mandated clone returns and you can... sure! That... that would be lovely!" I said enthusiastically, taking the hands of both of my clones to drag them towards the congregation of citizens around the mineshaft. I was going to ride in CARLOS' CAR. I wondered vaguely if there was a way I could talk about that on the radio or not, or whether Station Management would be irritated with my continued coverage of my own personal life.

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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Banshee on Tue Aug 27, 2013 2:14 pm

Carlos

Was he serious...? It could possibly be that....then again he had been at work for quite a few hours last night, then clones....

But I'd get to sit next to him in my car!

I couldn't help but give a tiny grin at that, pulling at my cellphone and calling fuel 'n go as I moved the samples into the back seat so he could sit in the front.
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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Invisimort on Tue Aug 27, 2013 2:23 pm

Cecil:

It took about an hour to fill out the appropriate paperwork that proved that I was the real Cecil and the clones were the Clone Cecils. Finally I was just me again, and I headed over to Carlos' car. Carlos' car. I sat down in the seat of his car and stared at him, his car, and everything. "Carlos this really is so sweet of you..." I told him as I buckled my seatbelt. I noticed that along the cuffs of my shirt the tattoos had started to creep back onto the tops of my hands, it was oddly comforting to see the eyes reappear there.

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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Regret on Wed Aug 28, 2013 1:04 pm

Josie:

One of the angels had been kind enough to take my clone to the mineshaft, but I had tagged along to make sure he was happy. I call him Lin, because he told me that to hear his true name would render me permanently deaf. Not that I can hear much these days, but it was considerate of him anyway.

I led Lin away from the mineshaft by the hand, only to spot that lovely Mr Cecil getting into a car with the scientist with the lovely hair.

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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Banshee on Wed Aug 28, 2013 1:54 pm

Carlos

"It's no trouble really, I mean the clones...tore up your bumper and everything...and I like spending time with you." I said, blushing a bit as I buckled my own seatbelt. "Plus last time, you drove me home."

Zoey

I had dropped off my clones at the mineshaft, it was kinda sad though, I'd miss them. We had all skipped down and now I was pretty sure they'd all head to the incinerator or something...even though the nice man said they'd be staying in the rooms to vote with HBO and all that before they did anything drastic.

Anything for votes I guess.

Oops...hehe....wasn't supposed to think about that.

I spotted Old Woman Josie and Lin walking away from the mineshaft. She must've gone to drop off her clones too. I jumped up and down, flailing my arms wildly to get their attention since Old Woman Josie was a bit hard of hearing now and days. "OLD WOMAN JOSIE!!! LIN!!!!!!'
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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Invisimort on Wed Aug 28, 2013 2:26 pm

Cecil:

Carlos was so considerate, and thoughtful, and helpful and-- I could wax poetic about him all day. I almost did in my mind, so that any telepathic observers could hear, but I eventually concluded that perhaps it would be even better to continue having a conversation with Carlos. Beautiful, Perfect Carlos. "Well, that is true... I did do that." He liked spending time with me, he said he liked spending time with me. He, The world's most perfect scientist, liked spending time with me, perhaps as much as he liked spending time with science. "I like spending time with you too, Carlos." I replied, "But thank you again, really." I watched him drive, casually turning on a turn signal at the appropriate time, accelerating without having to mutter enchantments under his breath to keep it running, it was truly a sight. A sight I could have stared at all day. Carlos was perfect.

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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Banshee on Wed Aug 28, 2013 2:39 pm

Carlos

"How do we get there?" I ask, glancing at him in the passenger's seat. I was already on the main road back to town now.
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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Invisimort on Wed Aug 28, 2013 3:11 pm

Cecil:

Carlos was going to find out where I lived. This was something that I think could only be described as a step forward in our relationship and I had to physically stop myself from emitting a high pitched noise of delight upon being asked where I lived. It should go without saying that in circumstances where people wanted to know where I lived who weren't Carlos, I wasn't nearly as delighted, as most people have a propensity for doing really really not nice things to you once they figure out where you live.

I tried to explain to Carlos the precise location of my house, but it was a bit difficult as the street name was unreadable, the house number itself had ceased to exist, and my area code had apparently been obliterated in a meteor shower several hundred years ago. "...You'll... uh, know it when you see it." I finished.

It was indeed one of those houses with the bonus feature of instilling most people with a deepseated sense of dread upon coming within four hundred feet of the property, and once my street had a "clean the vomit and other bodily fluids off your lawn" day to make Nightvale Beautiful.

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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Banshee on Wed Aug 28, 2013 3:16 pm

Carlos

Well...that was a bit odd.....

"What color is it?" I asked, hoping to find some kind of landmark. "or well, what's it near?"
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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Regret on Wed Aug 28, 2013 3:17 pm

Josie:

I recognised that voice. Zelda? Zane? One of those fancy new names starting with a letter from the far end of the alphabet. Funny, I thought they'd outlawed consonants a few years ago. I turned to face her and waved.
"Zion, dear!"

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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Invisimort on Wed Aug 28, 2013 3:23 pm

Cecil:

"Some days It's near the clock tower, if you were outside on the day of the hideous green glowing light- that had an apparent source on my street... My balcony either opens up on another world or my back yard is covered in trees with faces, and I still can't tell which... uhm... It may or may not be brown." I tried to assist. "Basically if you just start feeling really really despondent and like gouging your eyes out or eating yourself, we're close." I nodded.

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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Banshee on Thu Aug 29, 2013 7:23 pm

Carlos

"That...sounds painful," I say, giving a nervous laugh. "How do you live there? Unless...it doesn't bother you of course." I add quickly, biting my time.

Zoey

"IT'S ZOEY, MS. J!" I shout back, going over to them. "It's good to see you! Did you drop off your clones?"
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Re: Welcome to Nightvale: The Chat

Post by Invisimort on Fri Aug 30, 2013 12:42 am

Cecil:

"I got an exemption with the homeowners agreement... I still get nauseated some days but it may also just be that the faceless woman that lives in my house leaves expired food in my fridge and I sometimes don't notice..." I shrugged. I watched out the window for a little while, hoping that maybe I could provide some more specific instructions as we got closer. "... Ooh- there turn right there." I finally said as we approached the correct turn.

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