Help wih my writing please??

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Help wih my writing please??

Post by Cairo on Thu Jan 05, 2012 1:16 am

Okay, so I always have trouble getting past the first chapter and I really really like this idea. I know how I wanna start the first chapter (only written the prologue so far) but i'm having trouble about whether I want my main character to meet his one and only in the first chapter or not, and then what to do with it after wards wether he meets her or not.

Here, I'll post the prologue so you can kinda understand.

Coal rarely regretted anything. He didn’t allow himself to.
To regret something was to be uncertain.
Uncertainty leads to weakness.
And in Hell, weakness will get you killed.
Coal was not going to be dying anytime soon.
Not that he had anything to live for. If he died they would win.
His Masters.
The demonic spawn of hell.
For centuries Coals people had been the abused shock troops of the underworld; dying not only in war, but in everyday struggles for life..
Abused, beaten. Reduced to animals.
That’s all they were to the demons.
Pit them against eachother in a fight to the death, inject liquid silver into their veins until it runs from their nose and mouth before finally, agonizingly, succumbing to the poison.
Not Werewolves, not those stuckup bastards.
Werewulfs were scum to the pure wolves.
Wild, insane murderes.
But the funny part was…Coal, and most of his people, were exactly that.
Werewulfs were a demon-made species, originally werewolves before they were twisted and broken, their lives destroyed and spirits shattered.
Their freedom gone.
And because the world has a twisted sense of humor, losing their freedom meant half losing their ability to shift.
Bipedal wolves. Always. Freaks. Unnatural.
And that was exactly what they were.
Because destroying their spirit and hampering their abilities wasn’t enough for the demons.
No, they had to twist their bodies even more.
Grown to giants, eleven, even twelve feet tall. Oversized teeth made for maximum damage and muscles to the extreme.
They made them strong, fast….and bloodthirsty.
Werewulfs weren’t the bad guys, but they sure as hell weren’t the good guys.

It's only the rough draft so far and how I want to start it is something along the lines of this....

"Hold him!"
"I'm trying damnit!"
"try harder *****!"
the demons shouted back and forth as coal fought against the whips. His mouth was cut and bleeding from the strikes that had hit him in the face but it didn't bother him.
Whips wrapped around his neck and wrists, cutting deeply and burning his skin.
Coal snarled, flexing his neck in effort to loosen the leather around his neck before lunging forewards, bowling hte demons over.
His hand slashed into one, sending the demon falling to the ground, blood gurgling from his decimated throat.
He'd live, but it sure would hurt.
Coal bounded down the hall, sliding on the stone floor and cracking the walls as he hit them.
He burst throuhg the door, the burning searing heat of hell assaulting his eyes and making them burn.....

and yeah lol... this is where he would meet his one true love or not and were I'm stuck on what to do in either situation

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